A Coward

Today is the first day of my practical exam. Yeah, it is a sunny day, but I don't really think is a good day for me. Immediately I arrived the HUKM and while on the way walking into the department, the handle of my bottle is broken down!! Is it a good sign? I was thinking. Then I saw my prof and the CEO of Pantai Hospital were walking toward the department. Getting down. Why prof is coming? Which subject she is going to examine us? Immediately after that, I saw my 'lovely' supervisor was coming from another side. Yeah, all the horrible examiners were arrived. Getting worst. The tiny hope that one of them will have diarrhea or emergency leave is broke down.I've eating my bread. Even I spread with my favorite Tuna mayonnaise, I still loss my appetite. @@

The officer who arranged the subject for examination came near to us and called my name. I was wonder what is happening. What? I'm the first candidate? I was so shock. Because according to the arrangement among ourselves, I am the forth candidate. I was so shock. Immediately I picked up my tools and entered the gym. What's a shock morning.!!

The case i got for my exam is bilateral OA. It's a common case. But I had did badly. I can't find the asterisk in this patient. I really can't get it. It's a long term management, I really don't know what is the short term asterisk for this patient. I was so depress when questioned by both of the examiners. The patient!! He was like viva-ing me. He asked me a lot of question beyond my level. Until the end, the examiner stop him from asking me.  I was wondering, why I got a so educated subject? 

In the viva session, once again, I was being beat down! I think my performance is really bad, until I couldn't find any reasons for what had I did. There is only 4 words can explain the situation today - 全军覆没! 

I really don't know what had I did. Now, fail or pass, is all beyond my control. What I can do is praying hard. Will I fail the exam? I have no idea... Everyone is scared of failure, me as well. That's why I pray hard to pass the exam. 

Sometimes, I really think I'm just a coward.